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You better shop around

10 Oct

Recently I find myself back into the dating pool after ending two years of courtship with someone. The relationship didn’t work out, and I got hurt, I think I even hurt him. I battle with the possibility of starting over AGAIN. Relationships are complicated and difficult, sometimes just right ugly. The worst is when someone is asked to get back up, dust your self off and “start over.”  But what exactly does that mean? The thought of starting over with someone new is nerve-racking,  you start to wonder if you are really ready for another relationship.

Is it ever too soon to start dating again?

We’ve all had a long-term relationship that may or may not have suffered a painful ending, or perhaps it’s no ones fault and it just stalled and failed. One of the worst things you can do after a failed relationship is to dwell on it. Of course you will spend every waking moment thinking about your EX. If you really cared about your EX you wonder about what was and what could have been. The best advice I can share with you is too leave the relationship behind you as quickly as you can. “Who is she fooling you might say to yourself”? Trust me I know it’s easier said then done. The best way to do this is to allow your grief to run its course, because that’s what it is. You’ve lost somebody you love or loved, and you may need time to grieve for what’s gone.

I truly think it’s also important to take time to examine what happened during the relationship so you can learn from your mistakes. It’s all too easy to wallow in bitter, angry thoughts. If you can channel those thoughts constructively in order to learn from this failed relationship, you can prevent the same thing happening to your next one. And don’t worry, you will have another relationship, (life doesn’t suck that bad). Though it may not feel like it, the world hasn’t ended just because your relationship has.

Let’s just say I have grieved long enough. I am so ready to see what this dating world has to offer a young, educated, sexy thing like me lol.  I take dating as a game, and just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. Number one rule is SAFETY FIRST, I have a designated friend I text the following information to (name, number, plates). Yes I said his plate’s lol. And every so often I would text her my location. (if you knew some of mine and friends dating stories you would see fit to do the same)

 I always try to enjoy myself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun!

I stay positive, even when dates don’t end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can. Last but not lease, never leave your home empty-handed. Bring cash not to pay for the bill, no no no…(there is nothing wrong with paying the bill ladies, this is just not the time for it)….the extra cash is  just in case you need to make a run for it.

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2 Responses to “You better shop around”

  1. Fashionforwardalways October 10, 2011 at 7:10 am #

    I agree. I enjoy reading this post. Thanks

    • heynow603 October 10, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

      Absolutely! As with every bad hand dealt in life, fold and see what you get in the next game. Wondering or wasting time on what could’ve been but clearly wasn’t is simply that, a waste of time. It’s difficult, sometimes, not to give in to instinct when it comes to these issues. You want to contemplate your “mistakes” in order not to make them again with the next one. Excellent piece again Ms. Nanja! Love the part about texting the plate, priceless! Lol!

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