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Such High Expectations!

26 Sep

Last week I posted on our “simplystudded” Facebook page a question for all to consider. “Is your taste in a mate the same today as it was 10 years ago?”  Which made me think of what my expectations were in a mate. I even started to question if my expectations were even too low back then or too high now.

In my late teens and well into my early twenties, I thought of myself as being young, smart, sexy, and full of energy. My middle name was even “fun-tastic”. Not to say I am not like that now…..I’m just all of that in moderation!!!! I made it a point to find a mate that shared  the same characteristics. My motto was as long as he was cute likes to party, and doesn’t mind showing me a good time  I was all in. Those days were what I called my “bad boy stage”  Ohh how I loved my bad boy stage.  I even had a relationship expiration date. Nothing went past the six months mark.

Fast forward to 10 years, I’m spiritual, stable, have a career, and have my own I now find myself saying “been there done that” and damn it I want more!! But is more asking for too much? I once had a list of 25 attributes that I wanted a man to have in order to be with me. As the years went by I’m sadden by the fact that my list has gotten shorter and shorter. I think it’s because I felt my expectations were a little high and the men I was meeting possibly could not live up to it. So I looked past certain things kind of short-changing myself giving the person I was with a chance.

I realize now that there is nothing wrong with setting high expectations in anything you do especially when it comes to finding that special person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. But  I also find nothing wrong with possibly compromising  what is on your list. There are certain things that can easily be over looked and I can do without or can be worked on. And there are things that I find of high importance and I refuse to compromise on, such as (spiritual GOD fearing man, financial security, good family man, intimacy connection, and most of all respect). Once those are in place everything else I can work with.

So I ask you. Do you think you have high expectation when it comes to finding your mate? Do you have a list of what you would like in your mate? And if so are you willing to compromise?

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3 Responses to “Such High Expectations!”

  1. heynow603 September 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    Beautifully written article just wish it were longer. Guess my expectations are high (lol). Only criticism, I’d list respect before everything else on your list. Without it there is no relationship.

    • Ms. Nanja September 26, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

      LOL thank you Dear. My list was in no order, but I do agree with you. Without respect you have nothing

  2. Coco Rivers September 28, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    Great piece!!! I definietly have a list and I have to laugh because when I look back on them I see the changes which are clearly reflective of my mentation at any given point in my life.

    I think we all have a list and it’s interesting because the older I get the longer it gets. Yet, like most of the women I know, I do not adhere to the list lol. Ain’t that sad? My theory is that as your experience grows you realize that there are caveats to almost EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DESIRE from another human being. That knowledge competes with the need for compromise which all open minded folks do. The question becomes – Is compromise settling?

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